STATIC DISCLAIMER: All the stuff in here is purely my opinions, and they tend to change depending on what mood I'm in. If you're going to get bitter if I say something about you that you don't like, then maybe don't read. I avoid using names as much as possible, and would request that people who know me do the same in their comments. Basically, I often vent my frustrations on here, so if you happen to be someone who frustrates me, expect to read a description of someone very much like you in here!

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

I'm too young for this...

I'm a chronic worrier. I really am. Although this time I feel there's a small element of justification in my worry. Let me explain.

A week ago yesterday, I signed up for the gym. I am rather overweight and knew I needed to do something about it. The gym had been on the cards for a while, but it took a friend of mine signing up to motivate me to do the same. I was feeling relatively healthy and happy at this stage.

The first morning at the gym, we booked in for a fitness assessment the following day. We spent some time on the treadmills and bikes, and then went home. By that evening, I was quite unwell and had one heck of an ulcer. Not fun, but I figured it was just bad luck, and so pressed on with my gym visit the next day.

During my fitness assessment, the trainer took my blood pressure. I haven't had this taken in quite a while, but my Dad has quite high blood pressure so I figured one day this would affect me too. Well, it's affecting me now. Badly. 150 over 100. I had to get my GP's approval in order to continue with my fitness program.

So off to the doctor... My GP tells me that at my age he'd just prescribe me exercise anyway at this stage, and seeing as there were some obvious factors that would increase my blood pressure (such as my enourmous belly), I should go ahead but just make sure I start gently. Oh yeah, and just as a precaution, he took some blood to test my kidney and thyroid function. Not that we'd expect anything from that really...

Today I'm at work, and the phone rings. It's the doctor's surgery. Apparently, there's something in my blood tests that the doctor needs to talk to me about. The receptionist can't tell me any more then that. The doctor won't be in until tomorrow, so I've made an appointment for then.

So there's the story... but here's the thing: I'm scared. Maybe I shouldn't be, and my wife and others I've spoken to have all gone "Ah, don't worry. I'm sure it's fine", but I'm not sure it's fine. It might be, but it might not be. It appears that I'm not just "a bit out of shape" - I'm sick. Aside from the fact that the general sickness I've been feeling since the day I started at the gym is still just as annoying, I'm also sick on a more serious and potentially dangerous level. I'm worried that the problem is going to be something really quite serious, like kidney disfunction or cancer. I feel so completely helpless. I know that recent events are really contributing to all of this anxiety, but that doesn't make it unfounded...

I'll post how it goes tomorrow. Those who pray, please pray for me. Pray that everything is fine, but more importantly, that I can get some faith so I don't collapse in a heap every time something goes wrong.

No comments: