STATIC DISCLAIMER: All the stuff in here is purely my opinions, and they tend to change depending on what mood I'm in. If you're going to get bitter if I say something about you that you don't like, then maybe don't read. I avoid using names as much as possible, and would request that people who know me do the same in their comments. Basically, I often vent my frustrations on here, so if you happen to be someone who frustrates me, expect to read a description of someone very much like you in here!

Saturday, May 14, 2005

"I won't always live in my regrets..."

Just some random song quotes:

Hey now, the past is told by those who win
My darling, what matters is what hasn't been
Hey now, we're wide awake and we're thinking
My darling, believe your voice can mean something
~ Futures - Jimmy Eat World (Futures) ~
Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets
You'll stay alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine
~ 23 - Jimmy Eat World (Futures) ~

(This song is definatley worth a listen(11Mb) if you haven't heard it before. If you like it, you should get the CD. These guys really do rock. Oh, and if the link dies, please let me know.)
I've been listening to this album a lot lately. I don't know what to write about it except that the song "23" makes me cry. It's not supposed to be that kind of sad song, but the lines "Holding on tight, don't give away the end, the one thing that stays mine" just brings up in me these feelings of how completely final each moment, and indeed my own life, is.
I'm sitting at home tonight feeling rather down. Saturdays now do this to me. My wife and I sit at home, and don't do terribly much. We would go out, but our son really needs to be in bed around 6pm, otherwise he's too much of a handful the next day. We could have friends around, but the people we most spend time with tend to be busy on Saturday nights. For my wife, Saturday is the one opportunity for her to do all the things she's been unable to do during the week because she's looking after our son, which means that my Saturday tends to be full of entertaining a 11 month old boy who knows his father is easier to push around then his mum.
I just get to wondering if I'll always feel like this. If I'll always lament the Saturdays spent out with friends until all hours of the evening. Meeting up at Kurrajong lookout after 10pm, and still being there at 3 the next morning. Movie nights that involved more then one movie. Maccas for breakfast after a night of long indepth discussions and watching dodgy American tele-evangalists. I guess I'll never go back there. It's a shame... I really do miss it.
Anyway, my wife has headed to bed, so I should probably go too. More bloggy goodness to come, I swear.


Tam said...

Yeah I definitely miss all those days as well. But all it takes is one look at my daughter and I know that I wouldn't change anything for the world. I'm sure you feel the same. Anyway soon the time will come when you're trying to keep Jake at home rather than wanting to go out cause he'll have school work to do etc.
They grow up so fast...

Justin Warner said...

Just so you know, I try and avoid using names in general other then my own. I'd rather say "my son" then "Jake" (...seeing you've already mentioned him), just to keep the annonymity level up a bit. If you can, perhaps try and help me with that in these comments.

Hmm, yeah, see you're right and wrong at the same time. I love my son to bits, and I wasn't suggesting I'd rather go back to being single and "without child". I'd just prefer my Saturdays to be different to how they are. Actually, if they're like this consistantly for 6 months, I'll go insane. Luckily, that hasn't happened yet...