I'm having probably the worst day I remember having in a long, long time. I can't stand to be near any of the people at my work. I just want them all to go away and leave me alone. My wife has trouble staying happy with me for more then an hour or so, and my son has just hit the stage where he'd prefer to be awake at night then in the day. Yay. I suddenly realised this morning that I've accomplished nothing in the last 5 years that I wanted to do. I mean, I always wanted to be a husband and father, which I've done, but I wanted to be a good husband and father, with a great marriage and be playing an important role in the development of my son - and hey, I'm not and I don't. It's not for lack of wanting... there's just something intrinsically wrong, and it's probably with me.
And then there's my job. When I signed up for my computer science degree, there were jobs in the paper for Windows/Linux sysadmins for 100's of thousands of dollars a year. Admining a webserver was a high paying job. While I'm at uni, it all goes to crap. So what do I end up doing? I bust kiddies who talk about their sexual exploits on their school email accounts. Or who surf gay pr0n for kicks while they're supposed to be studying. w00h00... The pinnacle of achievement.
You know, I'm going to teach my son that he can accomplish anything he puts his mind to. The thing is, I don't actually believe it's true. Pehaps it's just the hope of that ideal that drives the occasional person to greatness through a series of fortunate coincidences, but I guess hope is better then hopelessness. Aren't we crazy beings? Sometimes lying to ourselves will get us further then believing the truth.... Crazy.
STATIC DISCLAIMER: All the stuff in here is purely my opinions, and they tend to change depending on what mood I'm in. If you're going to get bitter if I say something about you that you don't like, then maybe don't read. I avoid using names as much as possible, and would request that people who know me do the same in their comments. Basically, I often vent my frustrations on here, so if you happen to be someone who frustrates me, expect to read a description of someone very much like you in here!