Today, I've had 17 page views from France. I just thought that was worth sharing.
Welcome, French visitor(s). I hope you've enjoyed your stay. :)
Monday, February 21, 2011
Thursday, December 23, 2010
An Explanation
I've considered carefully publishing this post. I want to tell people the truth, as I've always been honest and open, but at the same time I don't want to create bitterness or angst. There's been enough of that already, and I'm ready to move forward now. Part of that for me however, is sharing this story with all of you.
For those who don't know already, Rachel and I are no longer together. What follows is an explanation of why:
We've had some fairly big problems in our marriage. We've struggled with them for a long time, and they took their toll on both of us. We'd seen several marriage counsellors over a number of years, and still we struggled. That being said, my attitude was always that we'd keep at it until we sorted it through - that you work things out, no matter what. Rachel however found that she was unable to do that.
In late 2009, Rachel got involved with another man. The relationship continued, and despite numerous moments where she decided she should do the right thing and break it off, she was unable to bring herself to give it up. I tried very hard to win her affections back, and was as gracious and understanding as I could be through the whole thing. She has said she's sorry things unfolded the way they did, but ultimately she chose not to give up the relationship she formed with this man. Obviously, this wasn't a circumstance under which our marriage could continue.
As you might imagine, the past 12 or so months as this situation has unfolded have been incredibly difficult for me. But I have had to accept that what is, is; regardless of how I feel about it. As a result, Rachel and I have done the absolute best we can in maintaining amicability for the sake of the boys. We both love them immensely and want the best for them, and we're doing everything we can to soften the impact this situation will inevitably have on them.
A lot of water has gone under the bridge now and we're both in very different places. I'm taking the New Year as an opportunity to start over - to look at what it means to be a part-time carer / full-time dad, and to be suddenly single again at age 31. The boys now see quite a bit of Rachel's new partner, and I'm coming to terms with that... slowly. They are adjusting as well as children possibly could given their situation, and discussions about them with Rachel are amicable and functional, as the one common ground I know we still share is wanting the best for them even if we disagree on what that looks like from time to time. I'm trying hard to follow the path I believe God is leading me on, and I hope that He'll make it a bit clearer as time goes on. I still wrestle with why he's allowed this to happen, but I suppose ultimately I may just have to let it go.
If you're reading this, you're probably a friend or family member, and even if you aren't: Merry Christmas, and all the best for the New Year. Enjoy your family, your friends, and the time you have to share with them. Remember that eternity is the long bit, and that Jesus is the reason we can look forward to that. {/sappy bit}
These goings-on are the reason nothing has appeared on this blog in a long time. With this post out of the way, I'm hoping to post a bit more regularly. Also, I'm thinking of starting a new blog about my journey working out this new life I've got, in the hope that it might help others who find themselves in this place. I'll put details here if/when I do so you can read it if you want.
God bless,
Justin
For those who don't know already, Rachel and I are no longer together. What follows is an explanation of why:
We've had some fairly big problems in our marriage. We've struggled with them for a long time, and they took their toll on both of us. We'd seen several marriage counsellors over a number of years, and still we struggled. That being said, my attitude was always that we'd keep at it until we sorted it through - that you work things out, no matter what. Rachel however found that she was unable to do that.
In late 2009, Rachel got involved with another man. The relationship continued, and despite numerous moments where she decided she should do the right thing and break it off, she was unable to bring herself to give it up. I tried very hard to win her affections back, and was as gracious and understanding as I could be through the whole thing. She has said she's sorry things unfolded the way they did, but ultimately she chose not to give up the relationship she formed with this man. Obviously, this wasn't a circumstance under which our marriage could continue.
As you might imagine, the past 12 or so months as this situation has unfolded have been incredibly difficult for me. But I have had to accept that what is, is; regardless of how I feel about it. As a result, Rachel and I have done the absolute best we can in maintaining amicability for the sake of the boys. We both love them immensely and want the best for them, and we're doing everything we can to soften the impact this situation will inevitably have on them.
A lot of water has gone under the bridge now and we're both in very different places. I'm taking the New Year as an opportunity to start over - to look at what it means to be a part-time carer / full-time dad, and to be suddenly single again at age 31. The boys now see quite a bit of Rachel's new partner, and I'm coming to terms with that... slowly. They are adjusting as well as children possibly could given their situation, and discussions about them with Rachel are amicable and functional, as the one common ground I know we still share is wanting the best for them even if we disagree on what that looks like from time to time. I'm trying hard to follow the path I believe God is leading me on, and I hope that He'll make it a bit clearer as time goes on. I still wrestle with why he's allowed this to happen, but I suppose ultimately I may just have to let it go.
If you're reading this, you're probably a friend or family member, and even if you aren't: Merry Christmas, and all the best for the New Year. Enjoy your family, your friends, and the time you have to share with them. Remember that eternity is the long bit, and that Jesus is the reason we can look forward to that. {/sappy bit}
These goings-on are the reason nothing has appeared on this blog in a long time. With this post out of the way, I'm hoping to post a bit more regularly. Also, I'm thinking of starting a new blog about my journey working out this new life I've got, in the hope that it might help others who find themselves in this place. I'll put details here if/when I do so you can read it if you want.
God bless,
Justin
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Welcome Back, Torrential Rain!
The photo above is taken out our apartment window this morning. As you can see, the clearer weather we enjoyed yesterday was short lived. What does one do in Port Macquarie in pouring rain? I guess we'll let you all know once we figure it out...
Monday, February 16, 2009
Answered Prayer
I'm not sure how well this photo shows it, but the rain has gone. It's still fairly cool, so swimming is not high on our agenda, but the weather is perfect for walking along the breakwater, or enjoying a coffee by the shore. So yeah, thanks to God for the answered prayer!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Holidays in sunny Port Macquarie
So it's been a long time since I've posted anything, and I fully intend to post something more deserving of being the first post in ages,but I just needed to share this.
My wife and I have been planning a get-away for ages. We booked a holiday in Port Macquarie over 6 months ago, and had my leave booked in and everything. As the time to leave drew close, things started to conspire against us. Projects that should have been well and truly completed at work were delayed massively. My offsider who was going to be holding down the fort at work got called up for jury duty. Some issues arose at home that made going away less appealing. But with unnecessarily high stress we departed, and arrived at Port Macquarie with the intention of trying to forget the stressors at home and spending a week relaxing on the beach.
This is a photo taken from the balcony of our apartment:
This has been the scene for the last 36 hours, and there's no sign of it letting up. We're so bored that my wife is now picking fights with me, and the boys are going completely stir crazy. We're trying to find things to do that are wet weather friendly, but my wife was so set on spending a week at the beach that she'd rather sit and be miserable then do things that we might well be able to do at home like take the boys to a play centre, or go bowling. Luckily, today we're spending time with some extended family but if this doesn't improve, being on holidays might turn out to be an incredibly hard week's work.
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